A Broken Backyard Planter, A Broken System of Faith, and Beginning to Talk Pornography
I’m not a farmer by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy the special sweetness of a home-grown tomato or cucumber. So, I’ll grow some vegetables in pots in the back yard.
Cherry tomatoes are my favorite. It’s quite an accomplishment if they survive the short trip from the plant to the kitchen without me popping them in my mouth on the way.
The trouble is, I’m not a particularly attentive gardener. I’ll go a few days without checking to see if they need water, invariably only getting to it a day or so later than necessary. I don’t kill the plants, but they don’t flourish like they should either. Or worse, I’ll go on vacation in the middle of the summer, right when it’s getting hottest outside, and the plants will be all dried up by the time I make it home.
No more tomatoes for me.
But then, I came upon some plans to build a different kind of planter. This new planter has a water reservoir in the bottom of them that would help the plants survive periods of drought or other extended periods of time without watering. The reservoir was a series of tubes on the bottom with a fill-tube extended up and out of the soil. All I would have to do was fill it up every few weeks or so, depending on the needs of the plants. I still needed to check them, but not as often. I could also fill it up and go on vacation free from worry that my plants would die of dehydration while I was away.
I built two of them for my wife and me. They worked! I was fascinated with them and thought they were God’s gift to backyard gardeners. I began making them in earnest. I had business cards made and began to try to sell them. I called them HydroSIPs. (Sub-Irrigated Planter.)
I sold two.
I also made some for my mother. As I was constructing hers, I realized I had the perfect place for one of these modern marvels. My in-law’s property on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.
About 8 feet from the cul-de-sac at the end of their driveway was a little wooden, decorative hanging sign. It told people passing by that they were on their little piece of heaven-on-earth, Joy Row Acres. Not far from the sign was a cute little horse pasture where their two Tennessee Walking Horses would graze. While the sign was appealing, I thought the added color of a flower box right beneath it would look nice. This place was in full sun for most of the day. During the heat of the summer, I knew there would be weeks on end with little rain. It was the perfect spot for a planter like the ones I was making. So, I built one for them.
In trying to keep to the idea of environmental responsibility, I used up-cycled materials to build them. I’d use just about any wooden material I could find to construct them. I cut up old backyard playsets for some of them. For others, I discovered old, discarded stockade fences were the perfect material for the job. For my in-laws’ box, I used some discarded T-111 (think “plywood”) which had been the walls of my old pool house, then I attached the stockade fence to it. The picture I used for this article is the one I took just after planting it for the first time.
Much to my delight and the delight of my in-laws, the planter worked as intended. Every couple of weeks we could fill up the reservoir, and the plants would be fine, their roots reaching deep into the damp soil. The plants would grow into their lush colors, and it always brought me a great deal of pride to have made something like that. It was the summer of 2013.
Fast forward to this summer, in 2023. A few weeks ago, as I drove by the planter, I noticed it seemed to be sitting crooked, which didn’t make sense since it was sitting on level ground. I parked my truck and walked over for a closer look. It appeared somebody had hit it with their vehicle. The front corner was pulling apart.
The thing was toast.
I’d enjoyed making it, and it had served its purpose, but the days of making HydroSIPs were about 4 or 5 Jeffs ago. I’m not into it these days. To make the box water-tight, it’s lined with a tarp which took a bit of time to fold and staple correctly. It’s kind of a pain in the neck to do, and I wasn’t looking forward to fixing it. Especially when someone else had hit and broken it. The trouble was my mother-in-law really liked it and asked me to fix it. So, of course, I told her I would.
When I finally got around to looking at the box closely, I discovered my initial assumption that somebody had hit it was incorrect. The T-111 I’d used was dry-rotted and it fell apart at the corner. The materials didn’t work like I thought they would. Where I first thought I was just going to have to replace some screws, I now had to take the whole thing apart and use better materials. You can bet that this time around I’ll be using pressure-treated plywood behind those pieces of fence. It’s a better material to use. I’m also going to up-cycle some old pressure-treated fenceposts for the legs. I could see they were part of the problem too.
A while back I wrote an article about losing my faith. It’s my most-read article, and 2nd place isn’t close. I compared my faith to a broken jet ski I have and want to fix. My point was that I want to take the whole thing apart, put it back together again, and in the end, I’ll understand it better than I did before. It was kind of how I understood my faith deconstruction too.
As I stood back staring at the failing sub-irrigated planter box, I couldn’t help but see my illustration again, but this time I recognized a shortcoming of the jet ski analogy. When I put the jet ski back together, I’ll be using the same parts. I’ll replace the broken parts with new parts, but they’ll be the same part.
With the planter box, I’m replacing the parts that don’t work with better, stronger materials. I meant well when I used up-cycled materials, but some of them didn’t work and I’ll be using what works better.
As I deconstructed my faith, I did the same. Some of the doctrines I used to espouse I am finding to be lacking in logic, or worse, harmful. It’s tempting to list them out right here, but this week I think I’ve gone on long enough. Nevertheless, if you'll indulge me for just one more moment...
In recent days, I’ve come across something distressing about my Christianity. I’ve mentioned before that I’m working on an eBook about how I gave up pornography. For me, part of the process included coming to an understanding that I was not an addict. Many similarities existed between my behavior and that of an addict, yet there were sufficient differences to make me question whether I was unconsciously using "addiction" as an excuse. I’m of the belief that there are likely others like me, and my story might help them too, so that’s why I’m working on a book in which I’ll share this particular closet-skeleton with the world.
As I write however, it’s important that I bring more than just my personal experience to the page. I want to be sure I’m not just projecting my own story onto others; and that I have a strong understanding of what sex addiction is. So, I’ve been doing some research. I’ve been reading books on the subject. I’ve learned some things, and it’s made me reconsider what I held as a fundamental belief for many years.
All addicts – no matter what the addiction – seem to have one thing in common. I can't help but ponder whether my faith community has played a role in influencing individuals towards addiction, albeit unknowingly.
I know one thing – I’m giving up that particular doctrine. I’m not entirely sure it’s biblical anyway, no matter what my faith tradition says.
Next time I write, I’ll tell you what it is.
I had trouble coming up with a subtitle for this article. So, I did what anyone would do. I asked AI. The list below is what it gave me. What would you have chosen?
The Joy of Growing Home-Grown Vegetables in Pots
A Non-Farmer's Pursuit of Garden Freshness
Cherry Tomatoes and the Gardener's Dilemma
A Battle to Keep Tomatoes from Becoming Snacks
The Forgetful Gardener's Revelation
A Gardening Epiphany: Surviving Vacation and Neglect
Introducing HydroSIPs: Gardening Made Easy
Revolutionizing Backyard Gardening with Self-Watering Planters
The HydroSIP Journey
From Personal Enjoyment to a Business Venture
A Planter for Joy Row Acres
Transforming a Sunny Spot with Upcycled Materials
The Summer of 2013: A Gardener's Pride
The Season of Lush Colors and Blooming Success
The Planter's Unexpected Decline
Unraveling the Mystery of a Crooked Garden Box
Rebuilding the Sub-Irrigated Planter
Lessons in Craftsmanship and Environmental Responsibility
Deconstructing Faith and Understanding Addiction
Rethinking Beliefs, Addictions, and Faith Community's Influence
I would have chosen - Rethinking Beliefs, Addictions, and Faith Community's Influence.