Thanks for this reflection. I’m thankful that the Google algorithm brought me here.
I graduated five years before you. ENC prepared me well academically. I went on to get a PhD in the sciences and, after that, a law degree. I’m now a corporate attorney at a tech company in the NYC area. It was probably the right place for me at that time. But my experience felt somewhat provincial within a few months after leaving campus. Even by the mid-1990s, it seemed like ENC was trying to embody a worldview that was fading away. It didn’t fit comfortably into the politically right-wing mega-church culture that was coming to define evangelicalism and, in particular, the Nazarene church. And it didn’t fit comfortably into the increasingly secular culture of the Northeast.
I loved my four years at ENC and have few regrets about my choice to attend. When I graduated in 1993, I imagined that I would return frequently. But I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t go back until my 25th class reunion in 2018. I couldn’t explain why I stayed away for so long. But I think it had something to do with the fact that ENC represented a culture—namely, that of left-leaning evangelicalism—that never found its place among the cultural divides that began to emerge more sharply in the late 1990s. It probably also had something to do with the fact that the denominational leadership seemed to be pushing ENC towards a different side of those cultural battles than the side towards which I found myself moving.
I could probably say the same for the Nazarene church in which I was raised. Its theology and practice today have lost the imprint of theologians like Orton Wiley and Mildred Bangs Wynkoop. Most Nazarene churches today are barely different from fundamentalist mega-churches from the Baptist tradition. It seemed like the denominational leadership was seeking to push ENC in that direction. But that wasn’t workable in New England, where such churches are scarce. So, ENC found itself pulled to a different side of the culture wars from the side with which its prospective students and recent alumni in the Northeast had become affiliated, however loosely.
I also attended the reunion weekend this past fall, and attended the inauguration of the new President. It was a disheartening experience. I felt like I was observing a kind of institutional suicide. In a strange way, ENC’s closure comforts me because I suspect that I would feel increasingly estranged from what the school would have become had the new vision for the school succeeded. It’s probably better that the school close with a modicum of its former legacy intact than have that legacy further trampled upon by those who would like to erase that legacy from its history.
ENC died because the world it served—the world of a more socially progressive evangelicalism—had died a quarter century earlier. Its integrity did not remain entirely intact, as evidenced by Karl’s departure and other events over the last two decades. But the effort to force ENC to embody the image of right-wing fundamentalist evangelicalism ultimately failed. By 2024, the choice for ENC lay between closing or becoming something grotesque. I’m glad that closure won out.
Bob- Thanks for reading, and the comment. So much of what you said ressonated. I was also at the inauguration last year and had similar misgivings. It felt like we realized we were at a fork in the road, and chose the path most taken.
Given the year you graduated, I'm sure we have some mutual friends and acquaintances. Feel free to reach out via DM if you're interested in reminiscing.
Good evening. I am serious when I have to ask, Are you pleased/relieved about the “train wreck “? Yes, I heard that analogy when I entered into discourse on this Alum site three years ago, as well as words like” the repressive and regressive beliefs of the institution will .. starve itself to death”,… and one young man I know and love stating he would not stop until every college had reversed its stand on alternative lifestyles. It seems a no win situation to say the least. I do not agree with hateful, offensive, demeaning words or behavior. But even though I have known and loved good friends and family members- and they can attest to that love- it is not enough until I support and affirm their lifestyle, which according to what I believe to be Gods best for our lives, I cannot do.Yes, I have heard about certain words discovered in certain years by “authorities”,… I have studied and studied the Bible as a whole, from Creation through the NT, and I still hold to those original Tenets of Faith. people with my beliefs are hesitant to give money to something that is contrary to their faith and this generation really doesn’t want to give monetary allegiance to much. I also “scratch my head” at staff and teachers-and even students- who come in and knowing what this institution stands for, openly work against these beliefs- and are then are surprised at the outcome.My other advantage is that I have lived 3/4 of a century and can see the pain and heartache of living outside of Gods plan for our lives….I know that the statistics predict this demise, and I’m sure certain administrative officials could have done much better along the way…but I wonder if angry people tried to switch/reverse the rails on the track one too many times. I have utmost respect for your family.. I wonder if your great grandparents would have been put in the category of “fundamentalist /homophobic”. By this generation…Thank you
First, thank you for your thoughtful response and line of questioning. I read your questions as sincere, as a desire for dialogue. This is not always how the questions are presented. I'm not sure I'll be able to address them all, and I KNOW I will not be able to address them fully. First, the easy question.
No, I would not say I am pleased. It does not bring me joy. Not in the least. However, there is some relief. I might compare it to watching someone I love finally pass away after suffering from a terminal illness. But even in typing those words, it feels like a copout.
The young man who wasn't going to stop until every college changed... probably would have better success with smaller goals. But what do I know?
As for my family- First, thank you for your kind words about my family. That is always nice to hear. Grandpa (Stephen) had a way of endearing the love and admiration of people around him. He remains a hero of mine, and I miss him.
I didn't know my great-grandparents, as Floyd passed when in 1930 or so, and Madeline in 1979. (At 75 year old, if you went to ENC or were a part of the community, it is likely you have a better understanding of Madeline than I do.) From what I understand, they would not believe in hateful, offensive, demeaning words or behavior either. But I believe they would viewed the issue of queer identity from a position of homophobia based on a fundamentalist understanding of the scripture. Queer affirmation was not the world they lived in. Not in the church community or the community outside the church doors. I did know my grandpa, Stephen though. And I've learned more about him from family since he died - those who knew him best. Obviously I will never know, but I get the sense grandpa would have viewed this with more nuance had he lived a lifespan just 20 years different than the one he did. That is, if he was 55 years old in the year 2000 rather than 1980.
I am certainly not the best person to convince anyone of anything. What I might suggest you do is ask these questions of people in your life who you trust and are queer affirming. I also might suggest you (as I had to) learn what "homophobic" means. It's not a great word. It's been weaponized a bit; turned into a label. When I realized the term fit who I was, I began to see things kind of differently. I wasn't hateful either, but I was certainly placing one group of people as not-as-good in God's eyes. I still have times when homophobia creeps in. But I try to learn from it, and address what it might be saying about me.
I think I will end by saying this: People who identify as part of the queer community commit suicide at a staggering rate rather than "change." They would rather face the God that they are told they're not good enough for than continue to live as they are. If there is a worldview that might prevent driving people to suicide, I'm going to give credence that worldview, or at least test it.
I fear I haven't addressed all your questions and concerns. As much as it sounds like flat-out self-promotion, consider subscribing to my writing. All of my past articles are there for you to read, and I think you might get more insights on how I'd answer you more fully. I coming weeks I'll be addressing more about sexuality and how I believe the church needs to do better with the subject on the whole. If you do subscribe and change your mind, unsubscribing is easy. I've done it myself for other writers.
Sorry this is so late… we’re in Upstate fir the wedding of my adopted granddaughter…thanks so much for responding and be willing to enter into a conversation. Just some comments in response: I DO understand that the college has been in “survival mode “, and at the risk of losing students has become at times ambiguous in its message/practices. And I know that colleges and churches HAVE treated students with an alternate lifestyle poorly at times…. I hope we are beginning to learn , just as we did in the 60s and 79s with regards to the race issue. But during this time, I have been frustrated with the people who spewed hatred at their mouths during the last 3 years toward the college, and acting like the only resolution was to get rid of the college and start over. And NOW, they are mourning over the closure and celebrate the friends and various people who helped them there.Don’t they realize that they have benefited from the sacrificial giving of those “fundamental bigots “ and possibly helped by one or two of them(many bricks of my daughters’ inheritance line the walkways) Because we believed in the kids-and the institution. (2) I only used the term “fundamentalist homophobic “ because several people used those words in the other conversation I was involved in. When I looked up fundamental, I knew it was the strict literal translation of the scripture… and then, not easily moved from their belief. In a way, if you go by that, and what people THINK, you and I are both fundamentalists.I don’t do it because I am old, or regressive, or haven’t read the Bible or studied, I truly believe in the lifestyle God intended for His people.(3) I have various theories about the homosexuality issue, but I’ll save those for another day. And I know there are many different and varied medical issues with this. But I believe that if a person is born with no legs, or blind or deaf, if he is born a crack baby with all those issues, or the victim of rape or incest…. Or a person with a different number if chromosomes, or complicated genitalia, or opposite sex tendencies, or a strong desire for the same sex, I truly believe God can give them whatever they need to have a truly fulfilled and productive life-without compromising His standards.without this belief 50 years work in our life would be in vain,It doesnt mean He will change them or their desires. It means that He will help them in whatever state they find themselves. And find joy. Frankly, though I am not a psychologist, but I honestly believe that many of those suicides you mentioned are because they try and find comfort in any other style or alternative of living other than Gods way. Life is hard , and I haven’t had nearly as much to bear as some have. And isn’t just homosexual young people who are taking their lives. But I believe in the power of God to strengthen, give endurrance or restoration, , and give peace and new life in any circumstances. If we give Him that opportunity. Thanks for letting me share
All of this. It’s thorough and concise at the same time. So well thought-out and respectfully explanatory. Thank you for writing this all out! I agree with the sentiments and analysis, it’s all true.
Your point about professors unable to stay long term because of the academic requirements and the cost of living really stands out to me. It seemed to me that the professors I with whom I spent the most time were serving sacrificially in their roles at the college. Certainly many of them could have taught in many other more prestigious institutions for more money. I believe the education I got at ENC was rigorous and worthwhile. I am infinitely grateful to those professors who gave of themselves for the mission of the school and their love for the students. Shetler, Millican, Brandes, Yerxa, McCormick, Giberson, Cameron(s), the list goes on.
My mother tells stories that as a little girl she remembers her grandmother, Madeline Nease (long time ENC registrar), teaching her how to carefully open her presents at Christmas so they could re-use the paper the next year. There are also stories about praying for help to locate the necessary ingredients for the next meal. And stories about answers to those prayers.
Dean Bertha Munro was there with the family for those Christmases. I know she liked to say, "Not somehow, but triumphantly!" But there was an awful lot of "somehow."
Thanks for this reflection. I’m thankful that the Google algorithm brought me here.
I graduated five years before you. ENC prepared me well academically. I went on to get a PhD in the sciences and, after that, a law degree. I’m now a corporate attorney at a tech company in the NYC area. It was probably the right place for me at that time. But my experience felt somewhat provincial within a few months after leaving campus. Even by the mid-1990s, it seemed like ENC was trying to embody a worldview that was fading away. It didn’t fit comfortably into the politically right-wing mega-church culture that was coming to define evangelicalism and, in particular, the Nazarene church. And it didn’t fit comfortably into the increasingly secular culture of the Northeast.
I loved my four years at ENC and have few regrets about my choice to attend. When I graduated in 1993, I imagined that I would return frequently. But I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t go back until my 25th class reunion in 2018. I couldn’t explain why I stayed away for so long. But I think it had something to do with the fact that ENC represented a culture—namely, that of left-leaning evangelicalism—that never found its place among the cultural divides that began to emerge more sharply in the late 1990s. It probably also had something to do with the fact that the denominational leadership seemed to be pushing ENC towards a different side of those cultural battles than the side towards which I found myself moving.
I could probably say the same for the Nazarene church in which I was raised. Its theology and practice today have lost the imprint of theologians like Orton Wiley and Mildred Bangs Wynkoop. Most Nazarene churches today are barely different from fundamentalist mega-churches from the Baptist tradition. It seemed like the denominational leadership was seeking to push ENC in that direction. But that wasn’t workable in New England, where such churches are scarce. So, ENC found itself pulled to a different side of the culture wars from the side with which its prospective students and recent alumni in the Northeast had become affiliated, however loosely.
I also attended the reunion weekend this past fall, and attended the inauguration of the new President. It was a disheartening experience. I felt like I was observing a kind of institutional suicide. In a strange way, ENC’s closure comforts me because I suspect that I would feel increasingly estranged from what the school would have become had the new vision for the school succeeded. It’s probably better that the school close with a modicum of its former legacy intact than have that legacy further trampled upon by those who would like to erase that legacy from its history.
ENC died because the world it served—the world of a more socially progressive evangelicalism—had died a quarter century earlier. Its integrity did not remain entirely intact, as evidenced by Karl’s departure and other events over the last two decades. But the effort to force ENC to embody the image of right-wing fundamentalist evangelicalism ultimately failed. By 2024, the choice for ENC lay between closing or becoming something grotesque. I’m glad that closure won out.
Bob- Thanks for reading, and the comment. So much of what you said ressonated. I was also at the inauguration last year and had similar misgivings. It felt like we realized we were at a fork in the road, and chose the path most taken.
Given the year you graduated, I'm sure we have some mutual friends and acquaintances. Feel free to reach out via DM if you're interested in reminiscing.
Good evening. I am serious when I have to ask, Are you pleased/relieved about the “train wreck “? Yes, I heard that analogy when I entered into discourse on this Alum site three years ago, as well as words like” the repressive and regressive beliefs of the institution will .. starve itself to death”,… and one young man I know and love stating he would not stop until every college had reversed its stand on alternative lifestyles. It seems a no win situation to say the least. I do not agree with hateful, offensive, demeaning words or behavior. But even though I have known and loved good friends and family members- and they can attest to that love- it is not enough until I support and affirm their lifestyle, which according to what I believe to be Gods best for our lives, I cannot do.Yes, I have heard about certain words discovered in certain years by “authorities”,… I have studied and studied the Bible as a whole, from Creation through the NT, and I still hold to those original Tenets of Faith. people with my beliefs are hesitant to give money to something that is contrary to their faith and this generation really doesn’t want to give monetary allegiance to much. I also “scratch my head” at staff and teachers-and even students- who come in and knowing what this institution stands for, openly work against these beliefs- and are then are surprised at the outcome.My other advantage is that I have lived 3/4 of a century and can see the pain and heartache of living outside of Gods plan for our lives….I know that the statistics predict this demise, and I’m sure certain administrative officials could have done much better along the way…but I wonder if angry people tried to switch/reverse the rails on the track one too many times. I have utmost respect for your family.. I wonder if your great grandparents would have been put in the category of “fundamentalist /homophobic”. By this generation…Thank you
Debbie-
First, thank you for your thoughtful response and line of questioning. I read your questions as sincere, as a desire for dialogue. This is not always how the questions are presented. I'm not sure I'll be able to address them all, and I KNOW I will not be able to address them fully. First, the easy question.
No, I would not say I am pleased. It does not bring me joy. Not in the least. However, there is some relief. I might compare it to watching someone I love finally pass away after suffering from a terminal illness. But even in typing those words, it feels like a copout.
The young man who wasn't going to stop until every college changed... probably would have better success with smaller goals. But what do I know?
As for my family- First, thank you for your kind words about my family. That is always nice to hear. Grandpa (Stephen) had a way of endearing the love and admiration of people around him. He remains a hero of mine, and I miss him.
I didn't know my great-grandparents, as Floyd passed when in 1930 or so, and Madeline in 1979. (At 75 year old, if you went to ENC or were a part of the community, it is likely you have a better understanding of Madeline than I do.) From what I understand, they would not believe in hateful, offensive, demeaning words or behavior either. But I believe they would viewed the issue of queer identity from a position of homophobia based on a fundamentalist understanding of the scripture. Queer affirmation was not the world they lived in. Not in the church community or the community outside the church doors. I did know my grandpa, Stephen though. And I've learned more about him from family since he died - those who knew him best. Obviously I will never know, but I get the sense grandpa would have viewed this with more nuance had he lived a lifespan just 20 years different than the one he did. That is, if he was 55 years old in the year 2000 rather than 1980.
I am certainly not the best person to convince anyone of anything. What I might suggest you do is ask these questions of people in your life who you trust and are queer affirming. I also might suggest you (as I had to) learn what "homophobic" means. It's not a great word. It's been weaponized a bit; turned into a label. When I realized the term fit who I was, I began to see things kind of differently. I wasn't hateful either, but I was certainly placing one group of people as not-as-good in God's eyes. I still have times when homophobia creeps in. But I try to learn from it, and address what it might be saying about me.
I think I will end by saying this: People who identify as part of the queer community commit suicide at a staggering rate rather than "change." They would rather face the God that they are told they're not good enough for than continue to live as they are. If there is a worldview that might prevent driving people to suicide, I'm going to give credence that worldview, or at least test it.
I fear I haven't addressed all your questions and concerns. As much as it sounds like flat-out self-promotion, consider subscribing to my writing. All of my past articles are there for you to read, and I think you might get more insights on how I'd answer you more fully. I coming weeks I'll be addressing more about sexuality and how I believe the church needs to do better with the subject on the whole. If you do subscribe and change your mind, unsubscribing is easy. I've done it myself for other writers.
Sorry this is so late… we’re in Upstate fir the wedding of my adopted granddaughter…thanks so much for responding and be willing to enter into a conversation. Just some comments in response: I DO understand that the college has been in “survival mode “, and at the risk of losing students has become at times ambiguous in its message/practices. And I know that colleges and churches HAVE treated students with an alternate lifestyle poorly at times…. I hope we are beginning to learn , just as we did in the 60s and 79s with regards to the race issue. But during this time, I have been frustrated with the people who spewed hatred at their mouths during the last 3 years toward the college, and acting like the only resolution was to get rid of the college and start over. And NOW, they are mourning over the closure and celebrate the friends and various people who helped them there.Don’t they realize that they have benefited from the sacrificial giving of those “fundamental bigots “ and possibly helped by one or two of them(many bricks of my daughters’ inheritance line the walkways) Because we believed in the kids-and the institution. (2) I only used the term “fundamentalist homophobic “ because several people used those words in the other conversation I was involved in. When I looked up fundamental, I knew it was the strict literal translation of the scripture… and then, not easily moved from their belief. In a way, if you go by that, and what people THINK, you and I are both fundamentalists.I don’t do it because I am old, or regressive, or haven’t read the Bible or studied, I truly believe in the lifestyle God intended for His people.(3) I have various theories about the homosexuality issue, but I’ll save those for another day. And I know there are many different and varied medical issues with this. But I believe that if a person is born with no legs, or blind or deaf, if he is born a crack baby with all those issues, or the victim of rape or incest…. Or a person with a different number if chromosomes, or complicated genitalia, or opposite sex tendencies, or a strong desire for the same sex, I truly believe God can give them whatever they need to have a truly fulfilled and productive life-without compromising His standards.without this belief 50 years work in our life would be in vain,It doesnt mean He will change them or their desires. It means that He will help them in whatever state they find themselves. And find joy. Frankly, though I am not a psychologist, but I honestly believe that many of those suicides you mentioned are because they try and find comfort in any other style or alternative of living other than Gods way. Life is hard , and I haven’t had nearly as much to bear as some have. And isn’t just homosexual young people who are taking their lives. But I believe in the power of God to strengthen, give endurrance or restoration, , and give peace and new life in any circumstances. If we give Him that opportunity. Thanks for letting me share
All of this. It’s thorough and concise at the same time. So well thought-out and respectfully explanatory. Thank you for writing this all out! I agree with the sentiments and analysis, it’s all true.
Your point about professors unable to stay long term because of the academic requirements and the cost of living really stands out to me. It seemed to me that the professors I with whom I spent the most time were serving sacrificially in their roles at the college. Certainly many of them could have taught in many other more prestigious institutions for more money. I believe the education I got at ENC was rigorous and worthwhile. I am infinitely grateful to those professors who gave of themselves for the mission of the school and their love for the students. Shetler, Millican, Brandes, Yerxa, McCormick, Giberson, Cameron(s), the list goes on.
Agreed.
My mother tells stories that as a little girl she remembers her grandmother, Madeline Nease (long time ENC registrar), teaching her how to carefully open her presents at Christmas so they could re-use the paper the next year. There are also stories about praying for help to locate the necessary ingredients for the next meal. And stories about answers to those prayers.
Dean Bertha Munro was there with the family for those Christmases. I know she liked to say, "Not somehow, but triumphantly!" But there was an awful lot of "somehow."
I am grateful for their sacrifice.