How a non-NCAA sports person fills out their (my) March Madness Bracket
Friday Faves and Feels: #6
I’m cheating this week and posting the Friday Faves and Feels post on Thursday. There’s a reason. March Madness starts today. And by the time you read this, my bracket will most certainly be busted.
I don’t really watch college sports. This is because I grew up in Boston where there are literally about 50 colleges within 10 miles of each other. Also, growing up, at least one of the four major professional teams was always competing for a championship. It’s different than say Alabama, which has no professional sports team. Instead they turn to Alabama and Auburn with the fanbase of one hating the other with a passion.
That said, each spring, my extended family engages in a little March Madness. Each of us complete a bracket to see who makes the most correct predictions about how the tournament plays out. Beside my brother, none of us have any clue about college sports. My niece’s husband thinks he does, but he doesn’t.1
Winning isn’t necessarily the point, however. It’s just something the extended family does to keep in touch with each other every now and then. We look forward to the interaction every year.
I won it once. That year I got to choose where we all went out together to eat. Since then a few of us have moved away, so we chose something else as a prize.
But I think the overall prize is just having a way to hang out together each year.
So, that’s my recommendation to you today: On a regular basis - at least once a year -Find a way to interact with loved ones in your life that you don’t see often. It’s not hard, and you’ll be glad you did.
Anyway, below you will find my picks and the “logic” behind them for this year. My picks are in bold print.
Round 1
East Bracket
(1)UConn/(16)Stetson: I have a couple of friends who were cheerleaders at UConn. Besides, I don’t look good in a Stetson. UCONN
(8)FAU/(9)Northwestern:
teaches at Northeastern. If you know you know, and if you’re a writer on Substack you probably know. Besides, FAU sounds like faux which means “not real.” So maybe FAU has no real chance to win. NORTHWESTERN(5)San Diego St./(12)UAB: My son is in college in San Diego. Different school, but still. SD STATE
(4)Auburn/(13)Yale: Here’s one for the smarty-smart-smart college people. YALE
(6)Brigham Young U./(11)Dusquesne: I saw Book of Mormon the other night and BYU is a Mormon school. Then again, Dusquesne rhymes with Dufresne as in “Andy Dufresne,” the protagonist in arguably the best movie in the history of movies. But this isn’t the movies. This is NCAA basketball. BYU
(3)Illinois/(14)Morehead State: The mascot for Illinois is the “Illini,” pronounced ill-eye-n-eye … I think. Morehead State’s mascot is the Eagle known as “Beaker.” Just… no. ILLINOIS
(7) Washington St./(10)Drake: Yesterday I went fly fishing for the first time in 35 years. I didn’t catch anything, but I did see a duck. A Drake is a duck. It’s a sign from God. DRAKE
(2) Iowa State/(15)S. Dakota St.: Iowa State has a great writing program. I didn’t go there, but still. Let’s live vicariously, shall we? IOWA
West Bracket
(1)UNC/(16)Wagner State: I’m just gonna go with the #1 seed here. UNC
(8)Mississippi St./(9)Michigan St.: There are a lot of “S’s” in Mississippi State. My last name begins with “S.” MISSISSIPPI STATE
(5) Saint Mary’s/(12)Grand Canyon: I think I know someone that’s attending Grand Canyon. GRAND CANYON
(4)Alabama/(13)Charleston: I should probably pick Charleston because it’s the name of a dance, and March Madness is also known as “The Big Dance.” But I like Forrest Gump more than March Madness, and he lived in Ala-BAMA! ALABAMA
(6)Clemson/(11)New Mexico: When I was nine I visited New Mexico and a street vendor there smacked me on the hand when I touched one of the items she was trying to sell. I’m getting back at her now. CLEMSON
(3)Baylor/(14)Colgate: Brush your teeth. COLGATE
(7)Dayton/(10)Nevada: The Wright brothers invented the airplane, and they lived in Dayton, Ohio. DAYTON
(2)Arizona/(15)Long Beach: I’ve been to both Arizona and Long Beach. This means nothing. So, I’ll just go with the higher seed. ARIZONA
South Bracket
(1) Houston/(16)Longwood: I used to work in Boston’s Longwood medical area. This is where the world’s best doctors are trained, not the best basketball players. HOUSTON
(8)Nebraska/(9)Texas A&M: Nebraska’s nickname is the Corn Huskers. I like corn on the cob. NEBRASKA
(5)Wisconsin/(12)James Madison: James Madison is the father of the United States Constitution. The United States was an underdog against England. Only makes sense to pick JAMES MADISON for the upset.
(4)Duke/(13)Vermont: Nobody who didn’t go to Duke likes Duke. I don’t know why, but I didn’t go there. Also, Vermont is God’s country. So…VERMONT
(6)Texas Tech/(11)NC State: I’m picking NC State because they beat UNC to win their conference Championship this year. How do I know that? Because it’s one of two college games I watched this year. Makes sense that they’d beat Texas Tech too. NC STATE
(3)Kentucky/(14)Oakland: I’m still bitter about the late 1980s and early 1990s Oakland Athletics always beating my favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox. So, let’s go KENTUCKY.
(7)Florida/(10)Colorado: I used to have a friend who wanted to coach football at Colorado. That didn’t happen. Least I can do is root for them in the first round of the 2024 March Madness bracket. COLORADO
(2)Marquette/(15)Western Kentucky: As a dad it is my responsibility to take any opportunity to make a pun. This is going to be a loss for Western Kentucky. You can MARQUETTE down.
Midwest Bracket
(1)Purdue/(16)Grambling: I like chicken cooked many different ways. So, in honor of Frank, a guy I met once…PURDUE.
(8)Utah State/(9)TCU: I just want to hear the words “Horned Frogs” for as long as possible. Let’s go, TCU Horned Frogs!
(5)Gonzaga/12McNeese: With all due respect to the school that always performs well in the Big Dance, I’m going with McNeese because their name reminds me of my late maternal grandparents, Grandpa and Grandma Nease.
(4)Kansas/(12)Samford: I will never root for Kansas. It’s personal. SAMFORD
(6)South Carolina/11Oregon: The mascot for South Carolina is the Fighting Cock. The mascot for Oregon is the Duck. Put those two in a ring in see which comes out as the winner. Yeah…SOUTH CAROLINA2
(3)Creighton/(14)Akron: Lebron James is from Akron. I don’t hate Lebron like so many others. Also, I need big upsets somewhere. Go AKRON
(7)Texas/(10)Colorado State: I think it says a lot that they only used “Texas” for this. Like is it the whole state? Let’s go with them. TEXAS
(2)Tennessee/(15)St. Peter’s: My best friend is from Tennessee. So is his family, including his brother James Austin Johnson. JAJ does a tremendous impersonation of 2-time NCAA Basketball Champion and all-around legend, Bill Walton. TENNESSEE
Round 2
East Bracket
(1)UCONN/(1)Northwestern: I flipped a coin. UCONN won.
(5)San Diego St./(13)Yale: Smart people go to study at Yale where it’s cold in the winter. Basketball players like to play basketball near the beach in February. SD State
(6) BYU/(3)Illinois: As I mentioned, I recently saw The Book of Mormon. Lots and lots of bad words. That would make my mother uncomfortable. I’m picking ILLINOIS here to make my mom happy.
(10)Drake/(15)S. Dakota State: (Drake’s) makes Yodels, one of the all-time best chocolatey snacks. DRAKE
West Bracket
(1)UNC/(8)Mississippi St.: I’m tired of typing all those Ss. UNC
(12)Grand Canyon/(4)Alabama: I just remembered, the person I know that I think goes to Grand Canyon doesn’t really like sports. ALABAMA
(6)Clemson/(14)Colgate: You should brush your teeth twice a day. That’s why I’m picking COLGATE to win a 2nd time.
(7)Dayton/(2)Arizona: There were two Wright brothers. That’s why I’m picking Dayton to win a 2nd time.
South Bracket
(1)Houston/(8)Nebraska: Nebraska was known as a football powerhouse, not basketball. HOUSTON
(12)James Madison/(13)Vermont: James Madison used to own other people for the purpose of free labor. Jim, I let you have the win last time. VERMONT, a Union state in the Civil war will triumph again.
(11)NC State/(3)Kentucky: Because fried chicken. KENTUCKY
(10)Colorado/(2)Marquette: Because Deon Sanders isn’t the basketball coach at Colorado. MARQUETTE
Midwest Bracket
(1)Purdue/TCU: Honestly, as much as I like the mascot… I can’t take any team called the Horned Frogs seriously. PURDUE
(13)McNeese/Samford: Samford is a funny word to say. McNEESE
(6)South Carolina/(14)Akron: Lebron never played college ball. SOUTH CAROLINA
(7)Texas/(2)Tennessee: I like it when Texas loses. TENNESSEE
The Sweet 16
East Bracket
(1)UCONN/(5)San Diego State: It takes more than nice weather to win a championship. UCONN
(3)Illinois/(10)Drake: Because I’m out of clever reasons. ILLINOIS
West Bracket
(1)UNC/(4)Alabama: Michael Jordan went to UNC. Forrest Gump went to Alabama. Forrest Gump isn’t real. UNC
(14)Colgate/(7)Dayton: 14 is twice as much as 7. This obviously means Colgate is twice as likely to lose to DAYTON.
South Bracket
(1)Houston/(13)Vermont: Because Vermont is better for family vacations and skiing. HOUSTON
(3)Kentucky/(2)Marquette: Because there ain’t no way a redneck from Kentucky is going to ever lose to a French word like “Mark-wett.” KENTUCKY
Midwest Bracket
(1)Purdue/(12)McNeese: They spelled “Nease” wrong. Grandpa is upset. PURDUE
(6)South Carolina/(2)Tennessee: South Carolina offered my wife a full ride back when she was looking at colleges. That was very nice. Peyton Manning went to Tennessee. As a fan of the New England Patriots, my wife can’t stand Peyton Manning. SOUTH CAROLINA
The Elite Eight
East Bracket
(1)UConn/(3)Illinois: UConn is the “Huskies.” I’m kinda husky. UCONN
West Bracket
(1)UNC/(7)Dayton: Wright brothers, wrong team. UNC
South Bracket
(1)Houston/(3)Kentucky: I once heard Houston had a problem. Teams focused on their problems don’t win. KENTUCKY
Midwest Bracket
(1)Purdue/(6) South Carolina: Cock fighting is illegal and unethical. PURDUE
The Final Four
(1) The University of Connecticut Huskies vs. (1) The University of North Carolina Tar Heels: UCONN is just down the road from Springfield, MA where basketball was invented and the basketball hall of fame is located. UCONN
(3) The University of Kentucky Wildcats vs. (1) The Purdue Boilermakers: Nobody who isn’t a boilermaker knows what a boilermaker is3. KENTUCKY
CHAMPIONSHIP
(1) The University of Connecticut Huskies vs. (3) The University of Kentucky Wildcats: It’s time for a repeat champion. UCONN wins. 64-60
The only reason I say this is to get under his skin. But he knows that, and that I love him.
I have lots of “reasons” to root for South Carolina, but also a “reason” to root against Oregon. They have the worst basketball floor in the history of basketball floors. Making people watch games on that floor is a crime against humanity.
They assemble, install, and maintain… wait for it… boilers.
I’ll keep Short ..In the Final 4 I have NC over Illinois and Houston over Purdue ..Then NC wins Houston in the final..By the way Illinois upsets UConn in the Elite 8!!…Enjoy!!